Fitness Boxing 3: Your Personal Trainer Review (Switch)

It’s been six years since the first Fitness Boxing was released, during which time we’ve had two main games and two spin-offs based on Fist of the North Star and Hatsune Miku. Now it’s time for the third proper entry in the series, and thankfully regular Fitness Boxing players will find some new stuff in here to freshen up their daily routine. There are new modes, new tasks, and even a new way to explore the Fitness Boxing lore. Yes, it turns out there’s lore now, apparently.

The main workout mode returns and brings with it the same strengths and weaknesses it always did. Those who played the previous games will know exactly what to expect here: after picking your workout of choice (or accepting the Daily Workout chosen for you based on your required time, intensity, and target body areas), you repeat a series of punching and dodging motions to the beat, almost like a violent rhythm game.

This part is by and large business as usual. There may be a few new options here and there to make things feel a little different but otherwise anyone who’s bought either of the first two Fitness Boxing games will be in very familiar territory here. Thankfully, for those who were expecting a little more from the third entry in the series, there are some new modes this time which mix things up a little.

Sometimes you’ve had a long day and can’t be doing with all the leaning, ducking, and dodging malarkey the game sometimes makes you do, especially in the more intense workouts. For such couch potatoes, the new Sit Fit Boxing mode is the answer. As the name suggests, Sit Fit Boxing allows you to stay firmly seated on your chair – or, let’s face it, slumped on your sofa – while performing a modified set of instructions.

Your in-game trainer sells Sit Fit Boxing to you as a mode “for folks who are less physically inclined or may have trouble performing standing exercises,” but you can very much add 'lazy sods' to that list too, because after a long day’s work we appreciated the option to collapse on the couch and swing at the air for a while. Naturally, it could be argued that you’re not getting much of a workout in this mode, and that’s fair: we certainly worked up far less of a sweat than in the standing workouts, but we suppose every little bit helps.

We got far more out of Mitt Drills, which is much closer to what we had in our heads when the first Fitness Boxing was originally announced. If you like the idea of boxing-based exercises but haven’t been keen on the fact that the series has essentially been Just Dance with punches instead of pirouettes, Mitt Drills takes away the rhythm element and offers a more straightforward punching programme.

There aren’t many of these Mitt Drills but we love what there is of them. Instead of waiting for an icon to pass a line before you throw your punch, you can instead punch as soon as your trainer lifts their boxing mitt. In a sense, there’s still a game element here in that if you take too long to punch you don’t get a Perfect rating, but you’re shown your upcoming combination on the side of the screen, meaning it isn’t really a reaction test because you know what’s coming.

The great thing about Mitt Drills is that they’re generally of a higher intensity than the standard workouts because there’s less pausing and waiting for the next move. You can fire through them, performing your combos at a fairly fast pace if you want to. There’s even a rapid punch section at the end where your trainer just holds both mitts up and you can go Fist of the North Star on them by flailing wildly: there’s clearly no skill involved in this bit, but it’s a nice little final spike for the heart rate.

Speaking of the trainers, there are six to choose from this time, which is fewer than before. Some of them return from previous games, meaning anyone fascinated by Bernardo’s Popeye-like arms can rest assured they won’t miss out this time, while newcomers Monica and Stella tick the ‘flirty’ and ‘mysterious’ boxes respectively for those who like to pretend their trainers are real people they’re trying to get to know. And if you’re that type of person, then does Fitness Boxing 3 have a treat for you.

An odd new feature called Box and Bond is unlocked when you spend enough time with one trainer. As you continue to do workouts with them you’ll fill a gauge which, when filled, unlocks a new Box and Bond chapter. These are special sessions where your personal trainer will share their thoughts and feelings on certain topics with you, giving you more insight into their character. Don’t expect anything wild – they don’t give their detailed analysis on Middle Eastern conflict or anything like that, most of them just talk about fitness – but for those who like playing along with the idea that their trainer is an actual person, it’s a nice added touch.

By taking on the game’s daily and weekly missions you can earn coins which can then be spent on unlocking new outfits and any of the game’s 20 ‘licensed’ music tracks. And when we say ‘licensed’, we mean Imagineer has seemingly found someone who’s never played a MIDI keyboard in their life and then given them a licence to have a go at recreating each song. We’d have hoped that after two games like this the quality would have improved but the new tracks here are still abysmal.

On paper, it’s a fine mix of songs from the likes of Britney Spears, Fall Out Boy, and Billie Eilish (let’s just ignore What Does the Fox Say), but sadly people tend not to listen to music on paper. In practice, the results — with no hint of hyperbole for comic effect here — genuinely sound like bad polyphonic ringtones from the early 2000s. Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins is a particular lowlight – the guy’s in his late 70s, please make sure he never gets to hear this or the next danger zone will be in his ticker.